I Lost a Friend
by Charlotte's Sunrise
Summary: No one saw it coming, until it was too late.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:/ **  
><strong>Been meaning to post this for a very long time, but with recent episodes it's been rather daunting to post it, but I've decided to finally bite the bullet.<strong>  
><strong>This is the prologue and there is more to come if enjoy people enjoy it.<br>Some inspiration has come from the song 'How to save a life' by The Fray because who doesn't love that song. **  
><strong>Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.<br>Disclaimer; the usual... just fictional **

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><p><em>Because you can't save them all...<em>

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><p>The rain was pelting heavily against the windows, soaking everything and anything in its wake.<p>

The sudden turn in the weather was not expected and seemed somewhat trivial as though the events earlier in the day had triggered the sudden down pour.

Whilst it refreshed the dry environment, it just added to the misery and the despair that had encircled the team as of late and it didn't look like it was going away any time soon.

Unforseen events in an operation are never welcomed, even by the most skilled agents.

They add variables to the task at hand, variables that were never expected or calculated for and these variables can only lead to one thing, _death._

Death is hard to deal with, it brings about new emotions that sometimes go by undetected and whilst the agents and liaison officer, that Hetty oh so carefully hand-picked were familiar with death, none had seen this coming.

They hadn't the chance to prepare themselves for what was to come, the death of a fellow NCIS colleague.


	2. Chapter 2

**An:/**  
><strong>Soo here we go, first chapter. <strong>  
><strong>Wrote this when I was procrastinating for my exams, year 12 does that to you. <strong>  
><strong>Let me know what you think of this one, and whether I should continue with it or not...<strong>  
><strong>Thanks Lottie<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer; the usual.. <strong>

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><p><em>Previously: They hadn't the chance to prepare themselves for what was to come, the death of a fellow NCIS colleague.<em>

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><p>Deeks and Kensi sat at their respective desks, both too shocked to even try maintaining a facade that they were 'fine'. It was late and they were the only ones downstairs in the dimly lit bullpen.<p>

Kensi was staring into space at the now empty desk across from her. She kept replaying the final moments in her head, analysing it from all directions, thinking of the could haves and what if's.

If only they'd made the connection sooner, NCIS wouldn't be mourning the loss of one of their own.

Deeks was watching Kensi, waiting for her to finally say something. He was worried about her, she hadn't spoken a word since being released by the EMT's at the scene, she didn't even respond to Hetty when they finally returned. She'd just sat down at her desk and had been staring into space ever since.

Deeks leaned back on his chair and let out a long breath. He clasped his hand behind his head and looked up at the Ops ceiling. '_This really is a mess_' He thought to himself, to afraid of the repercussions if he expressed this out loud for someone to hear.

"Pardon?" Kensi whispered in a voice that sounded very unlike her. It sounded lost and fragile, nothing like Kensi's usual confident and sassy self. She whispered it so quietly Deeks almost missed it.

He sat up quickly in his chair and caught the last of what she was saying. "What did you say?"

"Ah, nothing Kens. Just thinking about it all, can't stop" Deeks said quietly still not really understanding what had happened.

"Yeah me too" Kensi whispered in reply looking at the empty desk again, whilst she tried to keep her silent tears from falling. The last thing she wanted to do was break down in Ops, especially in front of Deeks.

The two fell silent again, this time Deeks looking over at Hetty's office wondering if she'd been able to find any more answers to the whole situation.  
>As though she knew what Deeks was thinking, Hetty appeared at the bottom of the stair case, the staircase that the team had climbed earlier that day, bantering and making quick jibes at one another, not knowing that all this would change by nightfall.<p>

"Ms Blye, Mr. Deeks, I believe you can pack up and go home now." Hetty informed.

Deeks looked at Hetty and subtly nodded his acknowledgement, whilst Kensi just continued to stare.

"Where's Callen?" Deeks asked. He had not seen the older agent since the crime scene with the ambulance.

"He's still at the hospital waiting until after the surgery is complete." Hetty said solemnly.

"How is he?"

"Critical" Hetty informed bluntly "And Callen said don't bother coming to sit with him, he wants to be alone and that we are to respect his wishes" Hetty quickly added noticing that Deeks went to object.

"Hetty he just lost a close friend, he can't be alone, not now" Deeks protested.

"Just like you two shouldn't be, Mr. Deeks please take Ms Blye home; she is definitely in no state to drive. And I don't expect to see either of you to late  
>tomorrow morning." Hetty firmly decided.<p>

Deeks nodded his agreement, not having it in him to argue.

Kensi however differed. "Hetty I'm fine, I don't need an escort."

"I beg to differ Ms. Blye, you haven't spoken a word to just now and you are not in the right mind frame to drive. And let's not forget that gash on your head. I don't want to add you to the body count too."

At that Kensi nodded her compliance. Deeks and Kensi gathered their belongings and wished Hetty good bye.

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><p>The drive home was just as silent as it was in the bullpen and the tension still remained. The radio was playing softly in the background, but to the passengers is sounded as though nothing but humming.<br>A news report came on reporting a mass shooting in down town L.A and Deeks turned it off immediately.  
>Kensi sighed and closed her eyes, hoping this would help combat the tears that were once again forming.<p>

"Kens, do you want me to stay with you tonight?" Deeks asked sincerely. He was worried about her, he'd never seen her so vulnerable and drained before, and the gash above her right eye looked very painful.

"Deeks, I just want to go home and sleep, so no I'll be fine." Kensi replied. Whilst she did want to go home and sleep, the last thing she wanted to be was alone. She wanted Deeks with her, to comfort her, so she didn't have to be alone with her thoughts. But she would never tell him any of this, she needed to be strong for the others.

"Kens, but Hetty said..." Deeks started

"Deeks please" Kensi pleaded staring intently at him. Deeks turned, reading her expression, despite all the pain and anguish she was unknowingly showing, Deeks could still see the stubborn spark that he had learned to love about Kensi.

"Okay" Deeks relented internally sighing. The last thing Kensi needed was to be alone with her thoughts. She will be playing back the events all night and it will drive her crazy, she needed a distraction and support, but Deeks knew she would never allow this.

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><p>By the time the two arrived at Kensi's apartment the gloomy rain had ceased, leaving a humid moist air. Deeks exited the car, but Kensi stayed put.<br>Deeks sighed sympathetically, ensuring that it wasn't loud enough for Kensi to hear. The last thing he needed was a very emotionally angry Kensi. Creepy, silent Kensi was bad enough.  
>Deeks opened her door and coaxed her out.<p>

"C'mon Kens, we are at your apartment." Deeks said leading her towards her front door that was barley lit by the overshadowing street lamp.  
>Kensi allowed herself to be lead by Deeks, which concerned him even more.<p>

Once he unlocked the door and turned on the interior light, Kensi wouldn't let him go any further past the threshold.

"Thanks Deeks..." Kensi whispered weakly looking into Deeks deep blue eyes. "For everything"

Deeks smiled sweetly, "Any time Kens" Kensi softly smiled in return. Deeks glanced sideways observing the empty apartment.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay? Because that bump up close doesn't look to friendly"

Kensi nodded. "I'm fine Deeks, really I am, go home and rest, here take my car." Kensi said forcing the keys to the SRX into his hands.

"Keep them; I think I'm going to run home, help clear my head." Deeks said tentatively placing the keys back into Kensi's hand. Kensi nodded and stepped inside and began closing the door.

"Really thanks again Deeks." She softly spoke.

"Your welcome Kens, just remember if you need anything just call me and I'll be here in no time."

"I'll remember, goodnight Marty."

"Goodnight Sunshine" Deeks smiled as Kensi closed the door.

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><p>Deeks hit the pavement hard, his house was several blocks away, but the idea of running to clear his head overruled his body's objection to running in jeans and boots.<p>

Despite the lack of rain the ground was still sodden and Deeks didn't even try to avoid the puddles, but rather just ran head on through them.  
><em><br>Like the team had. They just ran head on into the situation as soon as the comms went out. Had they waited just one more minute, they could have prevented the loss... _


	3. Chapter 3

**An:/**  
><strong>So here is another chapter, it's up later than I thought, but alot has been happening.<strong>  
><strong>Characters may be a little OOC, not 100% whether they are or not. <strong>  
><strong>Thanks for all the storie alerts and thanks to those who took the time to review :) <strong>  
><strong>So enjoy &amp; let me know what you think.<strong>  
><strong>Lottie.<strong>

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><p><em>They just ran head on into the situation as soon as the comms went out. Had they waited just one more minute, they could have prevented the loss... <em>

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><p>Deeks didn't break the pace as he approached his apartment block. He took the stairs two at a time and only slowed once he reached his front door.<br>He was panting and damp with sweat caused by the run and the increasing humidity.

Deeks entered his apartment and quickly discarded his weapon and badge not wanting to be associated with these objects after events of earlier that day, and replaced them with a chilled beer from the fridge.

"_Callen, Sam comms inside have dropped out, not receiving anything" Eric frantically informed from the sanctuary of the Ops centre._

_"Kensi, Deeks you guys in place?" Callen quickly asked through the central communication line._

_"Ready" Kensi and Deeks whispered in unison._

_"All units move in" Callen called through the comms, sending the order loud and clear.  
><em>  
>Deeks shook his head, the run had been helpful at clearing his head at the time, but the emotional wave was about to crash over him again.<br>It was times like this he wished there was a family or at least someone to come home to, someone to provide the distraction and to ease all his constant worries.  
>Deeks knew someone who could provide all this but wasn't willing to accept it herself, Kensi.<br>Deeks wanted to provide this comfort to her as much as she did for him, but both were too stubborn and neither wanted to be the first to admit it.

Deeks sighed again and ran his hand through his hair. He looked at the state of his apartment. He had gotten in late the night before after running surveillance on a suspect with Kensi and hadn't had a chance to clean it for the last two days and it now was beginning to look somewhat similar to that of Kensi's.  
>That particular suspect that was now lying on a hard cold slab in the morgue.<br>_  
>The<em> _Morgue_, _where he would be also by now..._

Deeks shook his head and place his beer down on the kitchen bench, deciding a nice cold shower was in need to help wind him down.

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><p>As soon as Kensi closed and locked the door behind her she regretted it. She leaned her head against the glass panel and watched as Deeks turned on his heal slowly making his way down the pavement and out of her sight.<br>Why couldn't she just let him in? She felt as though she was biologically programmed to be alone and resist any form of affection in the slightest.  
><em><br>'Kensi! Kensi? C'mon answer me' Came Deeks panicked voice through the earpiece as he made his way through the maze of crates and vehicles, whilst trying to dodge wayward bullets and heavily armed members of the drug ring._

_'Deeks where are you?" Kensi edgily replied trying to maintain cover as she hurriedly returned shots._

_'Watching your six of course, nice view by the way' Deeks replied adding in a joke._

_'We are all being shot at and you are commenting on my ass?' Kensi harshly replied._

_'Okay you're right not the time to be joking, sorry' Deeks apologised as he dodge yet another bullet that was aimed to be fatal if contact was made._

_'Forgiven, now get over here!' Kensi hastily pleaded as the bullet serge increased._

_'Coming, I can see you now. KENSI BEHIND YOU!' Deeks yelled into his comms and out loud across the large echoing warehouse. _

Kensi's hand instinctively went to the cut above her eyebrow that she now noticed was throbbing with pain.  
>She placed her badge and weapon on the small table by her door and made her way down the dark hall that seem longer than ever before, to the bathroom where she retrieved some pain relief which she promptly swallowed without water.<br>She closed her eyes and leant against the sink, the events of the day were taking a toll and all she wanted was to sleep away this nightmare.

Feeling her eyes beginning to fill with unshed tears once again, Kensi promptly turned on the shower  
>letting the bathroom fill with hot steamy air.<br>Whilst the temperature outside was still warm despite the rain, Kensi enjoyed the sensation of the hot water cascading over her body, rinsing the events of the day clean off her.  
>It allowed her to escape the reality she faced, creating a world where the emotions she felt were normal and not so foreign.<br>And it was when Kensi managed to accomplish this, did the first tear trickle down her cheek as she could no longer hold them in.

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><p>Deeks exited his bedroom now somewhat refreshed from his shower and now contently dressed in a white t-shirt and a pair of cotton boxer shorts.<br>He entered the kitchen and picked up his previously open beer, which was now slick with beads of water, and took a hefty swig off it.

Deeks trudged to the couch in which he slumped on, flicking through channels on the television before empting to have it remain off. He had no interest in watching anything and only one thing remain on his mind and he just wasn't able to shake it.

'_KENSI BEHIND YOU!' Deeks yelled into his comms and out loud across the large echoing warehouse._

_A larger looking man, that looked as though his position within the drug ring had comfortably supplied him some anabolic steroids, had managed to get the better of Kensi and was now striding gun raised in her direction.._

_Kensi swiftly respond to Deeks warning and took full advantage of the slower reaction time of the bulky man, allowing her to disarm him of his immediate weapon._

_As Kensi reached for her own weapon, the man pulled back and unleashed a mighty blow to the right side of her face._

_'KENSI!' Deeks bellowed again as he ran towards where Kensi was now laying on the ground._

_'Deeks' Kensi mumbled as she began to sit up._

_The larger man was reaching for his secondary weapon, to which Deeks responded with two quick pulls of the trigger each hitting the target, with perfect precision. _

Deeks jumped with the buzz of his mobile phone, breaking the current replay he was enduring. He retrieved his mobile of the coffee table hastily in hopes that it would be Kensi.  
>Surprisingly instead of Kensi it was a simple message from Callen, <strong><em>Surgery a success, stable and safe<em>.**

Deeks allowed himself to briefly smile, some good news was welcomed and some was better than none, but still wished it had of been from Kensi.

Deeks sighed once again, took another swig of his beer and reclined back looking up at the ceiling repeating the actions of what he had done in the office, and sat quietly listening to the pouring rain against the windows.

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><p>Kensi sat in the shower until the water turned ice cold against her skin, bringing her back down from her alternate reality.<br>She exited the shower quickly, drying off and dressing in an old oversized t-shirt she had borrowed from Deeks but never returned and pair of small soft shorts.  
>Not bothering to dry her hair Kensi, entered her bedroom and opened the large windows that were protecting the interior from the rain fall.<p>

A hand swept across her now puffy eyes, removing any last tears that may threaten to fall and she inhaled the smell of the rain deeply.  
>Letting out a long breathe Kensi padded over to her bed where her previously discarded phone now sat. It was flashing, notifying that an un-read message was waiting to be discovered.<p>

Kensi gripped her phone quickly, wondering if it was Deeks informing her that he wasn't going to listen to her stubborn protests to be alone, and he was on his way to comfort her.  
>But much to her disappointment it was a message from Callen, regarding the safety of their friend. She sent her thanks in reply and harshly placed her phone on the bedside table.<p>

Lying in the middle of her bed Kensi observed her room in the darkness.  
><em><br>'Eric call the EMT's Sam's down!' Came the call through the central communication line._

_'EMT's on their way G' Eric instantly replied._

_'Mr. Callen, what's your status?' Hetty asked as she listened to the hurried chatter between her agents._

_'Sam's been shot, losing a lot of blood, lost sight of two armed men and of...' Callen replies trying to remain calm as possible._

_'I see him Callen, he's with Kensi' Deeks confirmed as he rushed towards Kensi who was still struggling to sit up 'Stay with Sam'_

"What about the armed men?" Kensi whispers to herself softly. "No one had eyes on them" She thought to herself as she continued to replay that moment.

"Why didn't anyone have eyes on them?" Kensi shouted angrily to no one in particular. But her cries were drowned out by the cracking of thunder, which was harsh and fierce, and that had brought a new howling cool breeze to wreak even more havoc.

Kensi lay back against her pillow and willed sleep to come to take her from this nightmare. But with the vibration of her phone she knew that this wish was not going to be fulfilled any time soon.

Kensi rolled over and retrieved her mobile and read the message with great haste.

**_Kens,  
>I know you said to leave you alone,<br>but I was never any good at doing what I was told  
>Just checking to make sure you still didn't need anything?<br>And my offer from earlier still stands,  
>Just want to make sure you're okay<br>- Deeks_**

Kensi allowed a small smile to creep across her face, at the kindness and sincerity of these words.  
>But she couldn't face Deeks right now, so instead of replying what she truly wanted to she placed her phone back on the night stand and closed her eyes once again, listening to the frenzying storm around her.<p>

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><p><strong>An: There we go. Were they too OOC? Please let me know. **  
><strong>Thanks <strong>  
><strong>Lottie.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**An:/**  
><strong>Sorry it took me so long to update. Been a busy week!<strong>  
><strong>This the final chapter or this story &amp; I am in the process of writing another that should appear in the next week or so. <strong>  
><strong>So please enjoy &amp; thanks to those who took the time to read, review &amp; those who added it their alerts. <strong>  
><strong>Lottie<strong>

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><p>'<em>Kens, lay down, just stay still.' Deeks pleaded as Kensi continued to try sit up.<em>

_'Deeks, Sam is down, we need to help Sam' Kensi mumbled, fighting against Deeks restraints._

_'Sam is fine, Callen is with him' Deeks reminded her._

_'Nate, what about Nate? He can't be alone. He was made, Deeks where's Nate' Kensi asked looking around._

_'I'm right here Kens, just do what you are told for once.' Nate joked helping Deeks restrain Kensi._

_Hearing the sound of Nate's voice Kensi relaxed and stopped struggling against the two men._

_Nate and Deeks shared a look._

_'Thanks for saving my butt' Nate smiled appreciatively_

_'Not completely saved yet." Deeks replied meekly. 'We need to move, too much open space behind us' Deeks observed taking in the surroundings once again._

_'Can we move her?' Nate asked examining Kensi who was lying on the ground still._

_'Nate, I'm fine' Kensi objected successfully sitting up this time._

_'You're the one they are after.' Kensi continued as Deeks and Nate help to raise Kensi to a standing position._

_'Indeed he is' Came an unfamiliar voice._

_All three turned suddenly, caught unaware and now face to face with a gun and a mad-man behind it._

_'KENSI'_

The crashing sound of thunder, which felt as though it was emanating from inside the very room, awoke Kensi with a start. She sat up her breath ragged and heart beating heavily in her chest. Another loud crack sounded, this time accompanied with lightening, that lit up the dark room. Rain continued to fall heavily and the wind was howling relentlessly.  
>Kensi reached for her mobile that was once again signalling an un-read message was waiting in silence for her.<p>

**Hey Kens,  
>I just heard, I know how close you two were.<br>I'm sorry for your loss.  
>I'm here for you, if you ever just want to talk.<br>- Mike. **

Reading these words, brought Kensi crashing back down to reality once again. It was naive of her to think that it was all just a dream and that the events had had occurred earlier that day had been a figment of her imagination, why'd she imagine such things she didn't know.

It suddenly hit her that she truly had lost a friend and there was nothing she could do change it. Scenarios began appearing in her head, images and alternatives that Kensi would normally block out, but the emotions that she had now let inside her had overwhelmed her ability to compartmentalise.

Why did she get to live whilst he died? She was the one who was meant to be protecting him, not the other way around.  
>Why did Deeks do what he did? Why didn't any one see the guy sooner?<br>These were questions she continued to ask herself and she had no answers for.

Kensi sat in the darkness, her cheeks now wet from the silent tears she had shed unknowingly.  
>The room was once again illuminated by fierce lightening and Kensi continued to sit alone in the dark waiting for answers to questions that would never come.<p>

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><p>Deeks awoke to the sound of a booming crash outside that was definitely not caused by the raging storm. He had fallen asleep on the couch pondering the events of the day and the room was now illuminated by the glowing of the large television.<p>

Grabbing his weapon, Deeks quickly and silently made his way across to the door of his apartment. He cracked the door minutely and observed what he could. On guard like always, Deeks checked the surroundings of the front porch that surrounded Deeks second story apartment, it was here Deeks discovered the source of the noise.

"Shit" Deeks mumbled under his breath. The howling wind had caused his two surfboards to become unstable in the racks and they had now both crashed unceremoniously on the ground.

Deeks tucked his weapon in the back of his shorts and used one hand to deflect as much on the pouring rain off his face.  
>It wasn't until after he had placed both surfboards back on their respective shelves and secured them tightly, did Deeks realise that he was being watched.<br>Deeks instinctively pulled his weapon out and aimed it at the dark figure that stood on the driveway leading into the apartment complex.  
>The dark individual didn't even flinch at the notion of having a gun pointed at them and this concerned Deeks.<p>

Another deafening clap of thunder and bright strike of lightening, shocked Deeks but allowed him to see more clearly, who the hooded figure was, that stood in the drive way exposed to the elements being soaked through by the relenting rain, _Kensi._

Deeks hurried down the slick steps careful not to lose his footing and made his way across to Kensi in record time.

"Kensi what are you doing?" Deeks yelled loudly above the storm.

Kensi made to move and didn't even indicate a reply.

"KENSI" Deeks yelled loudly again, grasping at Kensi by the shoulders.

Kensi broke from her trance and looked directly into Deeks eyes.

"He's gone!" Kensi barely got out.

"C'mon we have to get you inside" Deeks said wrapping an arm around Kensi. _God knows how long she had been standing outside for,_ Deeks thought to  
>himself.<p>

It was when he entered the apartment with Kensi that he realised how wet and cold she was.

She was soaked through and her lips were slightly blue. He himself was soaked through and was leaving a puddle on the wooden floor boards.

"Kensi what were you doing?" Deeks asked as he quickly wrapped her up in the blanket that had been rested on the back of his couch.

"I... I... He's gone Deeks" Kensi said looking intently at Deeks. Deeks had never seen Kensi so vulnerable before nor had he seen her express this much  
>emotion in one day. It was like she was on an emotional rollercoaster ride that she had no control over.<p>

Deeks sighed and pulled Kensi into a hug. "Shh Kens" Deeks cooed as he kissed her on the top of her head.

Kensi pressed herself closer to Deeks and shivered. Deeks had been caught off guard; this was not the reaction from Kensi he had prepared for.

He had half expected Kensi to act as though nothing had changed and that she was indeed perfectly fine, maybe the different circumstances had change  
>things.<p>

The two stood rooted on the spot neither making any attempts to break the embrace. Deeks continued to rub his hand up and down Kensi's back in feign attempts to sooth and comfort her.

"Kens, I wish it had of been different, I'm sorry" Deeks whispered softly.

Kensi didn't reply but instead sniffled.

"Kens?" Deeks whispered pulling her back to see her face.

"Deeks please, just don't" Kensi pleaded shutting her eyes, not wanting to see the scrutiny of Deeks blue eyes.

"I mean it Kens, I'm sorry, if only..." Deeks started sincerely.

"If only what Deeks? You'd taken the bullet? How would that be any better?" Kensi fired back suddenly filled with anger.

"_KENSI" Deeks yelled as he made a move to cover her._

_It was now that the world appeared to slow down. The time continuum halted and all events played out in slow motion._

_Deeks instinctively leaped forward, enveloping his partner in his arms pulling her down with him and hopefully out of the firing line.  
>Deeks yell was mirrored by another, but instead it was Kensi's screaming for Nate, who with shorter reaction times was yet to be fully covered.<br>It wasn't until the shot rang out in the warehouse did time speed return and the events occurred so quickly, many hadn't realised what had happened._

_"NATE" Kensi cried out from the safety of Deeks arms.  
>Nate looked at Kensi and crumpled to the floor. Blood began flowing at will from the now gaping hole in the chest of Nate.<br>_  
>"Why didn't you protect him?" Kensi suddenly asked stepping out of Deeks arms. Deeks looked taken aback by the sudden outburst of Kensi. Whilst he hadn't prepared for emotionally upset Kensi, he definitely wasn't prepared for emotionally hostile Kensi either.<p>

"I was protecting my partner" Deeks calmly replied, still unsure as to what to say.

"I can protect myself" Kensi defiantly objected.

"Kens..." Deeks started.

"No why me? He was the one who needed it? Why didn't you protect him?" Kensi accusingly questioned, growing increasingly angry.

"Kens, you're my partner" Deeks answered softly "I saw the danger and I reacted instinctively. You were in the firing line and I... I... had to protect you." Deeks replied.

"Why did he have to die so you could protect me?" Kensi harshly inquired.

_Almost instantaneously a secondary shot rang out, this time emanating from Callen, who now stood shocked and pale from his position next to Sam._

_"Deeks what's your status?" Callen yelled frantically through his comms._

_Deeks didn't reply as he and Kensi hurried the short distance to where Nate now lay bleeding out on the floor._

_"Deeks? Kensi? Your status?" Callen repeated._

_"Nate's been shot! We need the EMT's now!" Kensi hurriedly replied sounding urgent._

_"Two minutes out" Eric provided from Ops, who were all in just as much shock._

_Kensi removed her button down shirt, and quickly used it to plug Nate's gaping wound._

_"C'mon Nate stay with me" Kensi pleaded applying as much pressure as possible._

_"Kensi..." Nate whispered softly._

_"No Nate, you don't get to do this." Kensi begged as the blood began to trickle through her fingers._

_"Eric where are these god damn EMTs?" Deeks yelled through his comms._

_"They'll be there any second" Eric replied still in a shocked state._

_Deeks moved beside Kensi and placed his hand over hers._

_"Kens..." Deeks started._

_"No, you can't die Nate c'mon, we only just got you back. Nate please" Kensi continued trying to fight back tears._

_"Be strong Kens... It's my time" Nate drawled out gasping for air with each breath._

_"No don't say things like that, you are going to be fine." Kensi stubbornly objected._

_"Goodbye Kens" Nate finally said as his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his chest heaved for one last time._

_"Nate? NATE?" Kensi yelled now pumping his chest trying to restore a heartbeat._

_"Kensi, he's gone" Deeks whispered tightening his hand that was on top of Kensi's_

_"He can't be gone" Kensi objected._

_"Kensi" Deeks said quietly pulling her back to lean against him._

_"He can't be gone" Kensi whispered as she leaned against the protection of Deeks chest._

"Kens you aren't seriously asking me that?" Deeks asked slightly shocked.

"We were there to help Nate to prevent this from happening but we only seemed to the catalyst to it all. One mistake and he's gone Deeks, he's gone"

"Kensi he knew the risks, we all knew the risks." Deeks tried.

"He wasn't even an agent what he even doing there?" Kensi asked no one in particular. "Why?" Kensi asked again her eyes once again brimming with  
>tears.<p>

Deeks noticed this and pulled Kensi into another hug which she tried to fight.

"Don't fight it Kens, let it all out." Deeks soothed.

"Deeks, he's really gone" Kensi whispered no longer immensely angry, her mood changing almost instantly.

Kensi's reaction was peculiar at that. Whilst Deeks had heard stories of how close Nate and Kensi had been, he hadn't realised how much Kensi had really cared about Nate and he wasn't sure that the others had realised this either.  
>Deeks sighed as he felt Kensi shiver against him once again.<p>

"C'mon we need to warm you up" Deeks insisted as he walked her towards his bathroom, Kensi not objecting at all.

Deeks turned on his shower, hot water pouring from the shower head, steaming up the bathroom almost immediately.

"C'mon" Deeks coaxed as he pulled Kensi towards the shower.  
>He pulled the now wet blanket off her shoulders and pulled her fully clothed into the shower with him.<br>Deeks pulled her close to his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.

"He's really gone" Kensi whispered again and let more tears fall from her eyes.

"Shh, I know Kens, I know" Deeks said as he continued to sooth her, hoping that his calm words would provide some comfort.

* * *

><p>Deeks eventually left Kensi to shower by herself whilst he looked for some dry clothes that were most likely to fit her.<br>Placing an old worn hoodie and a pair of shrunken track suit pants on the end of his bed, Deeks walked over to his conjoining bathroom door.

"Kens are you okay?" Deeks asked sincerely.

"I'll be out in a minute" Kensi replied softly.

"I left some dry clothes for you on the bed." Deeks replied exiting the room and entering the kitchen.

Several minutes later Kensi entered the kitchen dressed in what Deeks had left out for her.  
>Deeks stood drinking a cold glass of water watching her every move.<br>Kensi fiddled with the bottom of the hoodie before looking up into Deeks eyes.

"Deeks I'm sorry..." Kensi started.

"Kensi, don't... c'mon" Deeks interrupted as walked over to Kensi kissing her softly on the head.

"No apologises just let it all out now or you never will" Deeks coaxed.

"I can't say anymore. I don't think I have any tears left to cry." Kensi honestly admitted.

"Then sleep is what you need." Deeks promptly decided leading Kensi to his bedroom.

"Here you take the bed." Deeks said pulling back the covers for Kensi "And I'll take the couch"

"Deeks, stay with me, I don't want to be alone." Kensi asked sounding slightly embarrassed.

Deeks took in Kensi that sat before him on the bed. She looked like a lost little girl who needed to be comforted.

Deeks nodded his acceptance and climbed into bed next to Kensi, pulling her in close to his body.

Kensi rested her head above his heart and her hand flat on his chest.

The two lay silent in the dark, listening to the raging storm that was beginning to ease off in intensity.

"Deeks" Kensi whispered after a while.

"Yeah Kens?"

"Thanks for everything"

"Anytime" Deeks honestly replied, placing another soft kiss on Kensi's forehead, before drifting off to sleep with Kensi in his arms.

**The End**

* * *

><p><strong>An:**  
><strong>And there you have it the end. <strong>  
><strong>What did you think?<strong>  
><strong>Again apologises if the characters seem a little OOC espeically Kensi, but I kind of just went with my idea. <strong>  
><strong>Hope you enjoyed.<strong>


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